The 'Saat Vachan' or Seven Vows that every couple takes as they tie the knot of togetherness in Hindu Marriages are the core of Marriage Ceremony. These vows are very significant and in Sanskrit. In the current changing times though, there seems a need to revamp the traditional promises, and add something new to them. Well if you wish, there is certainly room for those pledges to turn into personal statements of your love and commitment. Here are a few ideas from us, for your seven vows that you can take together and prepare for your marriage...
Pledge 1- Respect each others space - While we all know that matrimony is all about doing things together and spending quality time etc.. but it is extremely important that you keep some 'ME' time for yourself too. Diversity in a relationship is important. Respecting each others hobbies and space adds up to a healthy relationship and we all know that a little distance makes the heart grow fonder!!
Pledge 2- Role-reversal - In today's fast-paced life, it is hardly about “who wears the pants” anymore. Since you are equals and a team your tasks should not dictate gender bias. Just cos you are a man does'nt imply that you cannot do home chores. It is important that you swap work once a while to respect what the other is doing. Keep one day of week (sundays maybe) when your husband prepares a meal.
Pledge 3- We know you gave your heart, now give your ears too.. in other words listen!
We all know that listening is a rare skill, but for a healthy relationship you both need to listen to each other. You can have different opinions, motivations and strong viewpoints. It is imperative that you understand each other's ideas, and respect the individuality of the other. If you try to burden each other by what you feel is right, then your dream of smooth relationship will be over soon. So our advice is the take a pledge to listen to each other.
Pledge 4- Don’t be secretive - Now that you are starting a new journey, treat your partner like a buddy (your partner in crime!). You can cause a lot of misunderstanding if you try to be too mysterious about any matter. We are not telling you to tell all about your ex's here. But any financial transactions- like loans, medical problems, career shifts, etc have to discussed like a team. It is not fair to be secretive and keep things away from your significant other. Remember, mutual trust is always a deal important.
Pledge 5- Don't snoop around-
Prying is bad. You really don't need to know much about his/her facebook status or the whatsapp messages/ mobile activities if you trust your better half. I reiterate here, that one needs to respect each others space and intent if you want a healthy and fruitful relationship. Constant monitoring of callers log won't get you anywhere.
If you have any concerns about anyone then i suggest you talk it out honestly with your partner.
Pledge 6- Partners in parenthood- Parenting is a joint effort. So, please make a solemn declaration to divide responsibilities and tasks after your baby is born. Yes we all know that its a mothers job to nurture. But it would be great if you show equal contribution in the process of nursing and nurturing the baby. Unburdening each other with a sense of sharing will make your marriage a blissful journey, even after a few years.
Pledge 7 Judging your partner - Sure, certain activities of your partner may bother you, but to sustain a healthy relationship, you should not be critical about your partner’s actions. You are making a lifelong commitment, so you need not put them under the scanner at every stage. Do not comment on your spouse while attending a family function or meeting your parents. It will corrode your love life.
Though i have mentioned Seven Pledges, last but not the least is to understand your spouse’s social circle. It is important step to accepting his/her background and making your future strong. Let's not forget that your spouse had other people in her/his life before you came in picture. We do not mean that you should drag your buddies into your personal space, but you should also allow your spouse the freedom to mingle with their group of friends. Promise this to each other, and see the results.